Lost Memories Hidden Emotions
by Hota
Summary: After Hiro is in an accident, he loses his memory of being in a #1 rated band. Will it mean the end of Bad Luck, or is there someone who holds the key to his memory? Warnings: Yaoi - Yuki/Shuichi, Hiro/?? (HI-MI-TSU! ^-^) Part Eight uploaded 6/5
1. Prologue Accident

**AN**: Ok so, I think I've finally got the major parts of the plot figured out. This is my first Gravi fic, so they may seem OOC though I tried my best to keep them at least in their own genre of personality.   
Hiro is in an accident and ends up losing his memory. How will the others handle it and what does it mean for _Bad Luck_?   
**Warnings**: I guess Angst ^-^   
**Disclaimer**: A warning placed at the beginning of (most) fics to exempt the author(ess) from liability should anyone take offense. Example: Though Gravi characters are extremely fun to play with, they do not belong to me and will be returned to their rightful owners relatively unharmed ^_~   
** Revised: April 21, 2003 **

* * *

**Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Prologue **

The street was slick with the steadily falling rain, but Nakano Hiroshi wasn't overly concerned. He took the next left, eager to get home after the concert he and his band, Bad Luck, had performed that evening. The light ahead flashed to yellow, and the red haired youth slowed his motorcycle to a stop in front of it. 

He glanced around idly, letting his mind wander as he thought about the past few hours. The concert had been great, with almost three hundred more people than what had been expected showing up. They had even been kept an extra hour with encores. 

Hiro smiled to himself, completely satisfied with the way things seemed to be heading. It was just a few months before when they had gotten their first big break from their manager K; a chance to play in the live house _Ruido_, where the famous band Nittle Grasper had held their debut. After that, it seemed as though their popularity had skyrocketed; they were constantly being invited to perform in what seemed like hundreds of concerts. 

The light finally changed to green and he quickly took off, more than looking forward to taking a hot shower and changing into dry clothes. He saw a few cars coming the opposite way, but paid them no heed, wondering what he would make for a late dinner that night. It wasn't until one of them swerved wildly, sliding out in front of him, that he realised his mistake of not paying more attention. 

He tried to stop and guide his bike to the side, but the slick street did nothing but make him slip and slide uncontrollably. The lights from the car blinded him with a flash of white before everything faded to black. 

  
  


The sound of the crash echoed down the street, dulled only slightly by the heavily falling rain. The few people who happened to be walking nearby turned towards the cause of the sound, only to find a car with its side smashed in by a lamp post, where it had finally been stopped by the slightly bent steel pole. The man in the car was slumped weirdly against the contorted door, red streaks of blood staining it and his face. 

Next to the car lay a twisted motorcycle, one wheel lying a few feet away, the other spinning slowly from where it was bent slightly into the air. Beneath it lay a slim form, red hair falling loose of the broken helmet as watery blood seeped from numerous cuts and slowly formed a bright stain on the damp white tee shirt. 

Lights flashed in the distance some time later, accompanied by the wailing of a high pitched siren. An ambulance and a few police cars approached the wreck, the policemen moving to push the small crowd that had gathered back, while the medics rushed to extricate the victims. 

The man in the car was proclaimed dead only moments after he had been pulled out. He was immediately placed on a stretcher and covered with a sheet. The other team worked frantically on getting the still form of Hiro out, finding him still alive, though weak and quickly fading. Finally they got him free and gently loaded him onto a stretcher and into the ambulance. Removing his helmet, a medic then placed an oxygen mask over his face as the large vehicle took off towards the hospital. 

Hiro's eyes opened slightly, looking around as far as he could without being able to move his head. His slate-colored eyes focused on the face above his for a moment, catching a glimpse of the blue shirt, but unable to piece together what that meant. 

Noticing him awake, the medic leaned closer to look at his eyes, shining a small light in them to check for neuro damage. Satisfied that he wasn't showing signs of a concussion, at least not yet, she turned off the flashlight. "Can you hear me?" she asked. 

He saw her mouth move as he stared at her in a blank daze, but he barely heard her words; they sounded distant and faint. His eyes closed again of their own accord and he welcomed the peaceful darkness. 

* * *

Please no flames! ^-^; I swear he will make a full recovery *runs from angry fangirls* GAAHHH! 


	2. Part One Doctor's Call

**Warnings**: I'm raising the rating to **NC-17** (I'm saying it here since FF.net goes from 13 to R) for explicit yaoi scenes ^-^ I don't do lemons, but the suggestion of it is there (not lime). I dunno, I'm just raising the rating, so you've been warned. If make-out scenes between two guys grosses you out, then don't read, k? ^-^ To all those continuing to read, enjoy and please R&R!   
**Disclaimer**: Gravi chara's not mine, I'm just borrowing them for a bit ^-^   
**Translations**: Tadaima - I'm home   
Oyasumi/Oya - Goodnight   
Arigatou - Thanks   
Gomen - Sorry   
Baka - Idiot   
Hai - Yes   
Ja, itte kimasu - Well, I'm off   
**Revised: April 21, 2003 **

* * *

** Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part One **

"Yu~ki~! Tadaima!!" Shuichi called out loudly, regardless of the fact that it was the dead of the night. He slipped off his shoes before hurrying to the bathroom to dispose of his sopping clothes. He _knew_ he should have accepted K's offer to call him a taxi... 

Tossing his clothes in the sink so he would remember to wash them in the morning, he climbed into the stall for a quick hot shower. After changing into a pair of pajama pants and a tank top, he crept quietly down the hall to the door of Yuki's study. Seeing the light still on, he peeked in to find Yuki busily typing away on his laptop. 

"Oyasumi," he said quietly with a small smile. "And arigatou," he added, heading back towards the couch. When he curled up to go to sleep though, he found the passage to the dream world elusive and instead found himself staring at the ceiling, happily replaying the events of the night. 

The turnout for the concert had been better than expected, and he wasn't anything but pleased with the way it had gone, even with the extra hour of encores they had easily been forced into doing by the raging fans. He sighed happily; that was what he and Hiro had been aiming for since they were younger, to be able to get on stage and have hundreds of fans cheering to hear their music. 

He looked up when he heard a shuffle by the doorway, his face brightening when he saw Yuki there before he winced slightly. "Ah gomen, Yuki, did I bother you when I came in?" 

"You could've woken the dead," the amber haired, amber eyed man replied, blowing out a breath of smoke from an ever present cigarette. 

Shuichi grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head as he sat up. "Gomen, gomen!" he laughed. Yuki looked at the pink haired boy a moment longer before going to the table and putting out the small stick in the ashtray. "Ne, Yuki..." 

He turned to regard the smaller boy again, raising an eyebrow in question. 

Shuichi blushed slightly at the piercing gaze and looked at the floor, absently pulling at the threads in his blanket. "I... just wanted to thank you for coming to the concert," he said nervously. 

Yuki replied by stepping closer to the teen and running a hand through his soft locks. "Baka," he muttered quietly. Shuichi glanced up through his bangs and smiled shyly when he felt Yuki's fingers in his hair. Yuki sat next to him, keeping his hand on his head even as the teen moved to lean against him. "You're late..." 

"Eheh, we got kept with having to do encores." 

"For two hours?" He tried to keep his voice neutral, but a trace of relief at having the boy next to him wormed its way into it. He would never admit it, but he had begun to worry about the singer; he was always getting himself into trouble even when someone was there to keep an eye on him. 

Shuichi was practically purring now and was already half asleep. He shook his head slightly when he heard the question. "We stayed an hour doing encores, and then half an hour to pack up and everything, and then it took me half an hour to get here... I sorta fell a few times in the rain..." 

"Baka..." he muttered again, lips twitching slightly. 

"Mmm, love you too, Yuki," Shuichi replied quietly before yawning. 

Yuki paused his hand briefly, looking down at the top of the pink head. It amazed him sometimes how easily Shuichi had wedged his way into his life; other times it terrified him. What attracted the boy to him he had no idea; he had done nothing but try to push him away from day one. He supposed opposites really did attract. 

With a quiet sigh, he picked up the sleeping boy and carried him into his bedroom. After laying him down he climbed in next to him, immediately finding himself with an armful of the pink haired boy. 

"Oya-, Yuki," Shuichi mumbled, curling up next to him. 

"I don't think so," he replied quietly, wrapping an arm around Shuichi's waist. He had had to wait two hours for his younger lover to get home; he wasn't about to let him off that easy. Shuichi glanced up at him, sleepily curious. He leaned forward, claiming the youth's lips in a heated kiss as he moved to cover the slim form beneath him with his own. 

Shuichi was suddenly very awake, eyes going wide with surprise before almost closing as he kissed back fervently. He buried his hands in Yuki's hair, not about to let him go. "Yu-ki," he half breathed, half moaned, as he felt the author's lips move to his sensitive neck. 

Yuki's heart jumped slightly at the way Shuichi said his name, the same way it always did - no matter how many times he heard it. He moved a hand under the light tank top to caress the smooth skin underneath, smirking slightly when Shuichi arched into the touch. 

Before it could go much further, they were interrupted by the high pitched ringing of the telephone. Yuki sighed in annoyance and debated on whether to answer it or not. Deciding it could be important, he ran a hand through Shuichi's hair again before going to the other side of the room to pick it up, promising to inflict bodily harm if it was his brother again... 

"Hello?" he almost snapped. 

"Ah, yes," replied a woman's voice, slightly surprised by the curt tone. "This is Dr. Kinno. Is Shindou-san there?" she asked. 

Yuki was about to ask her why she was calling, but decided against it - he knew firsthand how stubborn doctors could be. "Just a moment," he said instead, turning and holding the phone out to Shuichi. 

The smaller boy looked at him curiously as he got up and took the phone. "Hai?" he asked. 

"Shindou-san, this is Dr. Kinno. Do you know a Nakano Hiroshi?" 

Shuichi felt sick when he heard she was a doctor. "H-hai... He's a close friend... Did something happen?" 

"Shindou-san, I'm sorry to tell you this, but Nakano-san has been in an accident. He is in intensive care at the moment, but he seems to be stabilised." She paused, waiting for the usual outburst of disbelief or anger. All she heard was silence. "Shindou-san?" 

"I'm here," he replied quietly. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked, voice catching slightly. 

"He's stabilised," she said again. "We won't know more until morning. He's been in and out of consciousness, so if you want to come to the hospital tonight, you can see him," she offered. 

"I'm on my way," he said. He didn't move to put the phone back on the cradle though, even after he heard the faint click of the line closing. He stared blankly down at the small table, knuckles white from clutching the phone too tightly. 

Yuki reached over a few moments later and pried the boy's fingers free when he heard the incessant beeping of the phone. He watched as Shuichi started slightly in surprise, obviously drawn back into the present. Whatever had happened, it had affected the boy deeply, he noted, seeing the shadows covering the violet eyes. Right then he wanted nothing more than to take Shuichi and replace his pain with pleasure; to make him forget everything except how to feel. Instead, he grabbed the singer's chin and kissed him firmly before turning him and pushing him towards the door. 

Shuichi blinked a little in surprise as he was pushed out of the room, somewhat hurt by the action until he realised Yuki wasn't pushing him away because he was mad. He gave a slight smile and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes to keep the tears back and went to change. 

He didn't know what he would do if Hiro didn't make it, or if he ended up not being able to continue playing guitar. He wasn't sure what Hiro would do if that happened either; guitar was his life, the only thing he had found that he truly had a passion for. When they were younger, Hiro had always said he was most at peace when he was absorbed in the music, creating and rearranging the notes until he was satisfied with the composition. Even if Hiro lived, if he couldn't play guitar he would be dead on the inside. Shuichi didn't think he would be able to accept that. 

After pulling on a sweatshirt and pants, he made his way to the door in a daze, hardly even paying attention to anything. He didn't even realise he was silently crying until he sat down to tie his shoes and found the back of his hand was wet with tears. He wiped them away as he stood and pulled on his jacket. "Ja, itte kimasu," he called. 

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Yuki, standing from the couch where he had been silently watching the boy. He had changed into a dark blue shirt and a pair of black slacks. He leaned down and tapped the end of his cigarette on the ash tray before taking another draw. 

Shuichi turned around. "Going to the hospital?" 

"I don't plan to pay a hospital bill for you because you decided to catch pneumonia by being stupid enough to go out in the rain," he replied, picking up his coat and slipping it on on his way to the door. He ignored the slightly shimmering eyes as he walked past the teen, opening the door and leaving him to follow. 


	3. Part Two Hospital Visit

**AN**: A chappie a day keeps the angry reviewers away... *sighs* Not like there are any reviews for this anyway... Oh well! *holds up strawberry pocky* Wa~nt some?? It's goo~~d! *points to review button* All ya gotta do to get it is leave one! *grins*   
**Warnings**: Same as last chapter ^-^ Hmm, ok, the only chap rated **NC-17** right now, is Part One. I'll put a warning up on any chapter that has that content in it ok?   
**Translations**: Anything K says that's in caps, he's saying in 'Engrish' kk? ^-^   
Sajou - Boss, chief (I think... ^-^;)   
**Revised: April 21, 2003 **

* * *

** Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Two **

After the deathly quiet car ride to the hospital, Yuki almost welcomed the commotion going on in the waiting area. He ran his eyes over the group, spotting his sister Mika and her husband Seguchi Touma sitting quietly slightly apart from everyone else. In one corner, Sakano was quite literally spazzing out, switching from crying a river to hyperventilating. Next to him, sitting in a chair, was Fujisaki Suguru, rubbing his head from a headache caused by his producer's antics. 

Across from them, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed and shades covering his blue eyes stood K, one of his ever present holsters in place with a gun inside. How he had managed to keep it in a hospital, Yuki had no desire to find out. Sitting next to him was the famous singer Sakuma Ryuichi and his purple haired band-mate Ukai Noriko. He found the serious look on the young-looking singer unusual; he was more commonly seen acting like an overgrown child. The only thing suggesting that personality now was the pink bunny he had sitting on his lap. 

Noticing him standing there, Sakano paused in his overreacting and went over to him. "Where's Shindou-kun?" 

"Getting a drink," he replied offhandedly, leaning against the wall and copying K's stance. His eyes flicked to Ryuichi as he felt him looking at him. They stared at each other silently until the elevator dinged a moment later, signaling the arrival of Shuichi. Yuki was only slightly surprised as Ryuichi's expression changed and he jumped up. 

"SHU~ICHI~! Kumagorou was so worried about you!" he cried, practically bowling the pink haired boy over. 

Shuichi managed to somehow not drop his drink as he was tackled. He couldn't help but laugh when Ryuichi held up the rabbit and made it look like it was wiping away tears. "Aww, I'm sorry Kumagorou!" he replied, patting the stuffed animal on the head. 

"Shindou-kun! Thank goodness you're here," said Sakano. 

Shuichi glanced up then and looked at everyone that was gathered. "How is he?" he asked, moving to sit in a chair next to Yuki. 

"They say he's stabilised, but that's all they'll tell us," answered Suguru. 

"They won't let you see him?" 

"Only one person is allowed to visit him until he's out of intensive care." 

"Everyone agreed Shuichi should be the one to see him, na no da!" said Ryuichi, patting his shoulder before retaking his seat. 

"Excuse me, are you Shindou Shuichi?" called a young nurse from a few feet away. She looked tired but alert as she ran a hand through her hair, patiently waiting for his answer. 

"Hai," he replied, standing up as she motioned for him to follow her. Yuki reached out and took his drink as he passed, answering his questioning look by pointing to the signs that said **No food or drink beyond this point**. With a sheepish grin Shuichi turned to catch up with the nurse. 

"So how long have you known Nakano-kun?" she asked, leading him through what seemed like a maze of corridors. 

"Since middle school." 

"Ah, you must be very good friends then." 

Ha gave a small laugh. "Very," he agreed. 

She gave him a smile as she stopped by a door. "I'll be back in five minutes," she said, opening it and motioning him inside. 

He nodded his thanks and quietly stepped into the dimly lit room, glancing around at all the machines. There was an IV hooked up to one of Hiro's arms and an oxygen mask over the lower part of his face. A heart monitor kept a constant rhythm in the otherwise quiet atmosphere. 

He made his way over to stand by Hiro on the side opposite the IV. He bit his lip as he saw a bandage wrapped around the side of his head, a slight pink staining it in one spot. A few other bandages were on his person, seemingly at random. One shoulder had a nasty bruise on it, but other than a few smaller ones on his chest, there seemed to be nothing else wrong with him. Though Shuichi didn't know much about head wounds, so he supposed that was what was keeping him in the ICU. 

Shuichi sighed quietly, running his fingers lightly over Hiro's hand before holding it gently. His shoulders shook and he found himself crying again, unable to hold the tears back now that he saw it wasn't just a bad joke. He ran his other arm across his eyes, jumping when he felt his hand being squeezed slightly. 

He looked up to find Hiro looking at him through half lidded eyes. "Hiro! You're awake! How do you feel? Can you talk? Do you need anything?" He stopped when his hand was squeezed again and gave a sheepish grin, laughing somewhat hysterically from relief. 

"Can you hear me?" Hiro blinked at him. "Is that a yes?" He grinned when he was blinked at again. "Hey, it's like sign-language! Only we could call it 'blink-language!'" His grin widened when he saw the corner of Hiro's mouth twitch slightly. "I'm glad you're alive..." he said quietly a few moments later. "They said you were in an accident, and I thought they were about to tell me you had died..." he sobbed. 

He looked up when Hiro squeezed his hand again. "Can't... get rid of me... that easily," he whispered under his mask, eyes drooping a little. 

Shuichi smiled and wiped his eyes again, glancing up when there was a soft knock on the door. 

The nurse that had escorted him there poked her head in with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Shindou-kun, I have to ask you to leave now." 

"Hai," he replied, glancing back down at his friend. "See you tomorrow, 'k? Sleep well!" 

Hiro smiled slightly again. "'Night, Shu-chan," he replied quietly, closing his eyes and falling fast asleep before the other boy had even made it out of the room. 

Shuichi's step was a little lighter than it had been as he made his way back to the waiting room. He smiled when everyone turned to look at him, going over to take his drink back before leaning against the wall next to Yuki. Before they could bombard him with questions though, another woman came over to them, pushing up her glasses as she looked at them each in turn. 

With a small bow she introduced herself. "Good evening. I am Dr. Kinno. Now that you all are here, I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have. I'm sorry for seeming like I was ignoring you earlier, but it's usually easier if I only have to explain everything once so there's no confusion." 

The doctor waited for their full attention before she began. "As you all know, Nakano-san was involved in a vehicle accident. When he was brought in, he was semiconscious and showed no signs of neuro damage. Right now, he is showing positive signs that he will recover. We won't know how serious his head wound is until he's been fully conscious for a while. 

"I don't expect he'll have any problems, he hasn't shown any signs to make me worry, but you can never tell with head injuries." 

"What does that mean?" asked Shuichi. "That he could still die!?" 

Dr. Kinno smiled at him gently. "No, Shindou-san, I can confidently say that he won't die. But with head injuries, you can never be too careful. He hasn't had a concussion, but he could still develop amnesia." She gave a small shrug. "It really just depends." 

"If he gets amnesia, how long will it last?" asked Sakano. 

"That's hard to say. Sometimes it lasts for only a few days or a week. Others have been known to have it for almost half a year." 

"Half a year?!" cried Shuichi. "But... Hiro can't get amnesia for that long... He can't!" 

"Please calm down Shindou-san. There's a possibility that Nakano-san may not even develop amnesia." 

"How long will it be before he can leave the hospital?" asked Suguru after Shuichi had calmed down. 

"That remains to be seen. Since he miraculously suffered no other major injuries, if he recovers quickly enough, than he should be released no later than the end of the week." 

"Even if he ends up with amnesia?" 

"If he _does_ get amnesia, but he still remembers most of what has happened, we have no need to keep him here. For example," she continued, seeing another question forming on the boy's lips, "if he only forgets the past few months or so, than there would be no reason to hold him here. If he forgot more than that, he would need to stay here until he at least understood what has happened. 

"Either way, I would recommend someone staying with him, or him staying with someone else for a few weeks. Or at least someone to stop by every day." She glanced around at the others when he nodded and asked nothing further. When no other questions were posed, she nodded and turned to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight," she said. 

Mika and Touma rose, nodding to everyone before disappearing into an elevator. Ryuichi and Noriko were next, Ryuichi giving another quick glomp to the younger singer before they left as well. Looking back to the others, Shuichi sweat-dropped as Sakano began overreacting again. 

"Oh, what will I do if Nakano-kun gets amnesia?!" he cried, spinning around like a tornado with two rivers flying out from the whirlwind. "I'm not good enough to be a producer; I should never have let that happen! Sajou's going to fire me!" 

"Don't you think he would have fired you while he was here instead of waiting?" asked Suguru, somewhat annoyed. 

Sakano stopped, staring at the ground. "I guess..." 

K stepped forward then. "Well," he began. "Since it's hard to rehearse with a missing member, I, as your MANAGER have released you from your duties until Hiroshi is recovered." 

Suguru made a (-_-) face at him. "That's kind of understood, don't you think?" 

K gave a maniacal laugh and a wave as he went to the elevators. Sakano left soon afterwards, followed by Suguru. Shuichi waved at them before he went over to ask a nurse what time visiting hours were. He returned to find Yuki standing with one hand in his pocket, waiting for him. 

He grinned and rushed over to push the button to the elevator. "Ne, Yuki, I'm sure Hiro's going to be ok!" he said happily, stepping into the large metal box. "He'll be up and doing concerts again by the end of the month! Well, maybe longer with that bruise on his shoulder, but still!" He continued talking on the whole drive home, not put out in the least that Yuki didn't seem to be listening. He had a feeling that he really was, and even if he wasn't, it made him feel better to give his thoughts solidity. 

He followed Yuki through the door, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket. He stopped talking and looked at the taller man as he took off his own coat and shoes. "Ne, Yuki..." 

"Hm?" 

Shuichi grinned. "Thanks for taking me." 

Yuki glanced at him before turning towards the living room to pick up a pack of cigarettes off the table. He pulled one out and lit it before throwing the pack back down and heading towards the bedroom. 

"Yuki?" 

"What?" he asked, not stopping. Shuichi followed, pausing inside the doorway. "Well?" asked Yuki, hanging his shirt back up on a hanger. 

Shuichi blushed slightly and looked at the floor. "Never mind..." He wasn't about to push his luck by asking if Yuki would take him back the next morning. He blinked and looked up when Yuki stopped in front of him, already changed into a pair of sweatpants. 

Yuki reached behind him and shut the door, not taking his amber eyes off the boy's violet ones. Shuichi blinked again and backed away from the stare. Yuki waited until he backed into the door before following, stopping in front of the boy and resting one hand on the small of his back while he leaned his other arm on the door. He leaned down, brushing his lips against Shuichi's in a gentle kiss. 

Shuichi shuddered and launched himself at Yuki, burying his head in the author's shoulder and crying uncontrollably when they fell to the floor. "I was... so scared... He... looked awful when I... went in the room..." he said between sobs. 

Yuki ran his hand over the teen's back, not even blinking at the sudden mood swing; he had half expected it sooner or later. When he felt Shuichi finally calm down some time later, he knew the boy was asleep. Picking them both up off the ground, he carried him over to the bed. He slipped off Shuichi's clothes, not in the least bit surprised to find his pajamas still on underneath. 

He climbed in next to him after turning off the lights, resting an arm around the singer's waist when he curled up beside him, an arm thrown across his chest as he snored quietly. Kissing the top of the pink head, he then closed his own eyes for the night. 


	4. Part Three Amnesia? !

**AN**: I know I know, I should have updated before this, but I kept getting stuck and school was hectic this week. And with finals looming just a few weeks ahead, I may only be updating on weekends -_- Anyway, the plot starts pickin up after this chapter! I'm thinking maybe 8 - 10 parts... but that's just based on what I have planned so far so that could change hehe   
Oh, I almost forgot *hands pocky over to Recowa, No. 9, and dJeu* ^-^ Thankies! I appreciate the encouragement more than you think!   
**Translations**: ~Not retyping ones from previous chapters~   
Ch' - Damn/Shit, in this case sort of just a 'yeah right' type thing... ^-^   
**Posted: April 25, 2003**

* * *

**

Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Three 

**

When Shuichi awoke late the next morning, he found himself hugging a pillow to his chest tightly, Yuki apparently already having been up and out of bed for a while. He rolled over and stretched, yawning loudly. He lie there staring at the ceiling for a few moments before finally getting up to take a shower. 

Feeling better after having done that and changed, he grabbed his wet clothes out of the sink and threw them in the washer before heading into the kitchen, pausing by Yuki's study to peek in. The author sat with his chin in one hand, his other idly tapping at a key as he looked at the screen of his laptop. Shuichi smiled at the sight before his stomach growled, reminding him of his mission. 

When he got to the kitchen, he tossed a couple pieces of bread into the toaster and poured himself a glass of milk. When he closed the refrigerator door after getting out the butter, he noticed a note being held onto it by a magnet. 

_Tell me if you want a ride, brat._

He blinked at the note before grinning madly. He took the note and folded it carefully, sliding it into a back pocket before fixing his breakfast. He ate and tossed in some more bread for Yuki before setting his dishes in the sink and pouring a glass of orange juice. After fixing the toast and putting everything away he made his way back towards Yuki's study. 

Finding the taller man in the same position, he sneaked in quietly, setting the food down in front of him. Yuki leaned back in his chair and glanced at the food then up at Shuichi, waiting for the unpredictable boy to speak. Shuichi grinned and climbed into his lap, straddling his hips as he leaned their foreheads together. 

"Yu~ki~, I kne~w you loved me~," he sang. 

"Ch'." 

"But since it's not raining, I think I'll walk today, ne?" he continued, ignoring Yuki's comment. "Ja~, itte kimasu!" He tilted his head and nipped Yuki's ear before running out of the room with a laugh. 

"Baka..." muttered Yuki; he could have sworn he had seen a tail and cat ears on the boy when he had run out of the room. Hearing the front door close a moment later, he reached over for a piece of toast before starting the next chapter of his newest novel. 

  
  


Shuichi hummed to himself as he hurried down the street. He couldn't believe how much Yuki had changed towards him. Of course, to anyone else, it would seem he was still being cold as a stone, but Shuichi had noticed the little things he had started doing. For one, Yuki would never have left a note for him even just a month ago. Sure, he may have been wheedled, begged, and harassed into taking Shuichi to the hospital, but he wouldn't have given any indication that he would be _willing_ to do it. 

He sighed happily. He had a strong feeling that today would be good. He was absolutely certain Hiro was going to recover one hundred percent; Dr. Kinno had assured him that Hiro wasn't going to die, and he fully believed her. The night before seemed like a barely remembered nightmare in comparison to the new day. He was a little worried about him losing his memory though, but he knew sooner or later he would get it back. He just prayed that he would still remember how to play guitar if that happened. 

He found himself at the hospital sooner than he had expected and quickly made his way to Hiro's floor. 

"Shindou-kun?" 

He looked up at the call of his name and found the nurse who had taken him to see Hiro the night before. She made her way towards him with a smile on her face. "Good news, Shindou-kun. Nakano-kun was just moved to a new room," she said, handing him a piece of paper with a number scribbled on it. "He's now two floors below." 

Shuichi's eyes brightened and he happily took the paper. "So he's going to be ok?! He doesn't have amnesia? Does that mean he could leave earlier? Is he awake? Can I see him?" 

She laughed as he fired off his questions at a mile a minute. "Nakano-kun is going to be just fine. About the amnesia, there's still a possibility. The only way he could leave earlier is if he suddenly found the ability to do jumping jacks tonight. He was awake before they moved him, there's a chance he still is. You can see him anytime you want," she replied just as quickly. 

She smiled. "Come on, I'll show you to his room so you don't get lost," she said, leading him down a series of hallways. When she stopped in front of a door some minutes later, she turned around with a grin. "Ja, here we are!" 

"Thanks-," he stopped and blinked, realising he didn't know her name. "Er, what's your name again?" he asked. 

"You can call me Nami," she replied with a smile. 

"Hai. Thank you, Nami-san." 

She shook her head. "Just Nami, and you're welcome!" She nodded to the door. "You're the first one here today, so I'll leave it to you to inform the others that there shouldn't be more than three in the room with him at a time." She bowed before heading back down the hall when he nodded in understanding. 

He turned and quietly opened the door and stepped inside, closing it softly behind him. 

"Hey, Shu-chan," came a quiet voice from the bed. 

Shuichi looked over in surprise. "Hiro! You're awake!" he cried happily, bounding over to the other boy. He gladly noted that both the heart monitor and oxygen mask were gone, though there was still an IV steadily dripping clear liquid into his arm. When he got closer, he found Hiro had a little more colour to him, not like the pale look he had had the night before. 

"You look better. Are you feeling okay?" he asked, glancing over him with a slightly creased eyebrow. 

"Shuichi," Hiro said, sensing a questionnaire getting ready to start. 

"Are you hungry? I can see if they'll bring you something." 

"Shuichi..." 

"I know! As soon as you're released, I'm taking you out for ice-cream! Yu~m, strawberry ice-cream..." 

"Shuichi!" 

Shuichi blinked and looked at him before grinning sheepishly and putting his hand behind his head. "Gomen... I got carried away, huh?" 

"Just a little," he replied with a small smile, wincing slightly as he shifted on the bed. 

Shuichi frowned in concern and was about to launch another series of questions when there was a knock on the door. He turned to find Sakano and Suguru entering the room. 

"Nakano-kun! Thank goodness you're alive!" cried Sakano, trying to keep himself relatively under control. Shuichi glanced at the window to make sure it was tightly shut. 

"I don't know about the being alive part; I feel like death warmed over," joked Hiro with a quirk of his lips. He glanced at Suguru, who was standing quietly by the door. The corners of his mouth turned down slightly as confusion flitted across his face. "I'm sorry, but do I know you?" 

All three of them froze when he posed the question, glancing at each other in concern. 

"Ne, Hiro, are you sure you don't know him?" asked Shuichi, trying to ignore the panic he felt rising inside him. 

Hiro looked at him, eyes narrowed slightly in concentration. "I don't..." He shook his slowly after a few moments. He looked back at Suguru with an apologetic smile. "Sorry... guess I got hit on the head harder than I thought..." he laughed. 

"But Hiro-!" 

"It's alright, Shindou-san," interrupted Suguru, before the boy could say something to upset Hiro any further. "I'll go get the doctor," he added, disappearing out the door. 

Hiro sighed and carefully lifted a hand to rub his forehead when the boy was gone. "I have a feeling I should have known him..." he muttered. 

"Hiro, are you okay?" asked Shuichi, moving closer to him. 

Hiro glanced up at him with a slight smile. "I'm fine, my head just started hurting that's all." Shuichi opened his mouth to argue with him, but Hiro quickly cut him off. "I'm _fine_, Shuichi," he said again, part annoyed, part amused, and part thankful for his friend's concern. 

"H-hai..." 

The door opened again a moment later and Dr. Kinno stepped in, followed by Suguru. She went straight over to pick up a clipboard and briefly flipped through the pages. After making a few notations, she looked up at Hiro with a smile. "How are you feeling, Nakano-san?" 

Hiro shrugged. "I have a small headache, my shoulder hurts, and this IV is driving me crazy..." 

She laughed lightly and pushed her glasses up. "Not a picky patient at all, are you?" she asked, making a few more notes. "Nakano-san, what is the last thing you remember? If you can't remember right away, don't force yourself." 

He nodded and closed his eyes briefly. "I remember... that Shuichi and I were supposed to meet with Seguchi Touma..." He stopped and shook his head. "That's all I remember before seeing Shuichi last night... but I have a feeling he was late to the meeting," he added with a wry smile. 

"Hey!" Shuichi objected. 

Dr. Kinno smiled at Hiro before she turned to the other three. "If you three will please come with me...?" she asked, turning to leave the room. When they stepped out after her, she gently closed the door and looked to Shuichi. "Shindou-san, how long ago did the event he described take place?" 

Shuichi bit at his lip worriedly; he had hoped this wouldn't happen. "About three months... give or take a week or two..." he replied quietly. 

Dr. Kinno sighed and wrote something on the clipboard. "It seems Nakano-san has developed a mild case of amnesia. I think it would be better that only those he knows be allowed to visit him until he is released. Shindou-san, if he asks, you may fill him in on anything you feel he should know, but please be careful not to give him too much information too quickly. If he starts trying to force himself to remember it could only make it worse. 

"After he is released, it may help him to regain his memory by spending time with those he doesn't have any recollection of. Other than that, he's recovering well and should still be out by the end of the week." Seeing them nod in quiet understanding she took her leave. She patted Shuichi on the shoulder as she passed. "Don't worry Shindou-san, mild amnesia usually doesn't last for that long..." 

Shuichi looked up with a grateful smile and nodded. "Can I...?" he motioned to Hiro's door. 

"Of course," she answered with a smile. 

When he reentered the room, he immediately felt Hiro's eyes on him. He looked up with a bright smile as he made his way over to the bed. 

"Shuichi. I know something is going on, don't you dare try to hide it from me." 

Shuichi sighed and looked down, idly picking at the fuzz on Hiro's blanket. "They say you have mild amnesia..." 

"I sort of figured... My head feels hazy and it hurts to think about it..." He sighed and closed his eyes. A silence fell between them until he spoke up again. "So what's happened that I should know about...?" 

"...Kinno-sensei said not to tell you too much at once... so how about I tell you a little everyday? And then by the time you're ready to leave, you'll be pretty much caught up?!" 

Hiro gave a small smile. "Sounds fine to me," he replied, settling in to let Shuichi fill in his memory. 

  
  


"Tadaima!" called Shuichi as he walked into the apartment late that night. He had stayed as long as he could at the hospital, filling Hiro in on what he could, mostly on little things that were more or less every day occurrences. He hadn't mentioned anything about Yuki though, or Ayaka. He figured he would wait a few days before telling him about them. 

He looked up at the sound of water running in the kitchen and went to investigate. He tilted his head slightly when he walked in and found Yuki rinsing off a few dishes. "Yuki?" he asked. 

The author turned off the water and picked up a towel to dry the plate with. "Your dinner is in the oven." 

Shuichi smiled and went to retrieve said food, finding a plate full of chicken and noodles. He grabbed a fork and sat his plate down on the cabinet before grabbing a bottle of coke out of the fridge. He sat down to eat, watching as Yuki pulled out a beer and leaned on the bar across from him. He frowned slightly, but didn't say anything, instead looking down at his food. 

"Hiro should be out of the hospital by the end of the week..." he said quietly. "But he lost his memory, so he doesn't remember anything past when we were first getting started..." He poked at his food, not feeling that hungry even though he hadn't eaten since that morning. 

Feeling eyes on him, he glanced up to find Yuki looking at him with an unreadable look on his face. Shuichi suddenly had the urge to look in a mirror to make sure he hadn't grown a third eye on his forehead. He looked back down at his food with a slight blush; he hated how Yuki always managed to make him do that just by looking at him. 'At least I found a weakness with his ear,' he thought with a small smirk, taking a bite and finding he was actually quite hungry before he started shoveling it into his mouth. 

Yuki raised an eyebrow slightly at the smirk on the boy's lips and took a drink of his beer. He didn't think he would ever understand Shuichi; the boy switched moods more rapidly than a woman on PMS in his opinion. He glanced down to find the plate clean a few moments later and took it to the sink to wash it. Looking back, he found the pink haired boy had unfolded a familiar piece of paper and was reading it. He went to pick up his beer and poured the rest down the sink before going to his study. 

Shuichi sighed with a small smile on his face as he reread the note before getting up and going into the living room. He pulled out a small box from under the couch and placed the note inside a notebook, where he kept a journal of anything and everything. After making his entry for the day he put it back, slid the box back under the couch, and went in search of Yuki. 

He found the author in his study, shutting off his laptop and sitting back in his chair. Shuichi crept into the room and pounced on him with a laugh, jumping into his lap to nuzzle his neck. "Yu~ki~. I missed you~." 

"I couldn't tell," he replied dryly. 

Shuichi sat back and pouted at him, idly tracing a finger over Yuki's chest. "Didn't you miss me...?" 

'More than I'll ever admit,' he thought, reaching out to grasp the boy's chin and pull him forward for a kiss. 

Shuichi grinned when he pulled away. "I'll take that as a yes." 

"Brat," he replied, standing and picking him up to carry him into the bedroom. 

"You kno~w you love me," he shot back, wrapping his arms around the man's neck and closing his eyes in contentment. He was asleep even before Yuki got them both settled into bed for the night. "'Night, Yuki," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder before drifting back into sleep. 


	5. Part Four Home and Phone Calls

**AN**: Ugh... not too happy with this chapter... But, yay I get to start developing the plot now! And yeah, I'm sort of taking liberty with inferring things from the anime... My take on it was that Hiro and Shuichi were living together before Shuichi moved in with Yuki, but that was just what I got from it, so yeah...   
Wai! *gives pocky to Chibi-chan and Sparda219* Sankyuu! ^-^   
**Warnings**: None for this chap   
**Translations**: Maa maa - In this case just something said to help calm someone down.   
Hontou ni? - Really?   
Aa. - Yeah   
Hontou no hontou? - Really really?   
Maji de hontou na no ka? - Really completely?   
(Actually have the same conversation in the anime ^-^... a couple of times actually if I remember correctly)   
Konnichiwa - Hello/Good afternoon   
Moshi moshi - Hello (For answering the telephone only)   
Anything in caps is in 'Engrish' ^-^   
**Posted: April 27, 2003**

* * *

** Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Four **

Hiro sighed happily as he pulled on a pair of his _own_ clothes, glad to be out of the hospital robes he had been forced to wear until now. He glanced into the small bathroom mirror, fixing his hair so that the three stitches on the side of his forehead were hidden before he turned to leave the room, finding Shuichi waiting for him in the hallway. 

He still didn't quite know what to think about Shuichi and Yuki. Shuichi had told him about Yuki the night before. Obviously they had been living together for a while, but to Hiro it still seemed like yesterday that he and the pink haired boy had been roommates. 

He was a happy that his friend had finally found someone, even if he was a little jealous. Of course, Shuichi had told him about Ayaka, but he didn't even remember her. To him, it was just a name; he wasn't sure how to feel about her. 

Shuichi jumped up off the chair he had been sitting in with a grin. "Ne, Hiro, hurry up. We still need to drop by the studio." 

Hiro looked at him with a small pout. "Here I am, just getting out of the hospital, and all you can do is tell me to hurry up?" He sighed sadly. "I'm hurt, Shu-chan..." 

Shuichi's eyes welled up and he got huge tears in the corners of them. "I'm sorry, Hiro~!" he cried. 

Hiro sweat-dropped and patted the air in front of him. "Maa maa, Shuichi, I was kidding!" 

Shuichi blinked and looked at him. "Hontou ni?" he asked with a sniffle. 

"Aa." 

"Hontou no hontou?" 

"Aa." 

"Maji de hontou na no ka?" 

Hiro reached over and smacked him upside the head. "Aa!" 

Shuichi grinned. "OK! Let's go then!" 

Hiro shook his head with a sigh and followed his friend to the nurse's station so he could check out. He should have been released the day before, but the doctor had asked that he stay just one more night. He had to admit that it had helped; he felt a lot better than he had the previous day. 

"Nakano-kun!" 

He glanced up to see the young nurse that had occasionally been the one to check on him waving at him from the counter. He smiled and raised a hand to give a brief wave back. "Hello, Nami-san," he said as they approached. 

"Finally leaving us are you?" she asked, giving a small pout. 

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head, a barely-perceptible blush colouring his cheeks. "H-hai! I guess so!" 

She sighed sadly and pulled out his chart. "I guess I'll sign your release papers then... Even though I hate to let _such_ a cute young man go..." she added. 

"I appreciate it," he replied, his blush more noticeable. 

She laughed and signed a form before sliding it over to him. "Please sign here, Nakano-kun," she said, pointing to a line with a small x beside it. After he did, she took it back and placed it in a file. "Ok, you're free to go! Oh and here's your prescription," she added, handing him a small pink slip of paper. They nodded their thanks and turned to leave. "Don't forget to come back in a few days to get those stitches removed," she called after them. 

Hiro gave a wave over his shoulder. "I won't!" he called back. 

Shuichi grinned and elbowed him lightly in the side once they were in the elevator. "Get yourself a girlfriend while you were sick?" he teased. 

Hiro rubbed his side and glared mildly at his friend. "No, why?" 

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "Come on Hiro, it was obvious she likes you." He clasped his hands together and put them under his chin, his eyes big and watery. "Oh Nakano-ku~n!" he cried in a girly voice. "Please go out with me, Nakano-_sama_~." 

Hiro slammed his fist down on the top of Shuichi's head with an eye twitch. Shuichi laughed, picking himself up from the floor when the doors opened a moment later and rushing out to meet Sakano, who was waiting for them in the car. 

Hiro paused outside the doors, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of fresh air before climbing into the backseat with Shuichi. He stared out the window at the passing buildings as they sped towards the studio. He was excited about being able to pick up his guitar; Shuichi had told him he had gotten a new one a few weeks ago, but he wouldn't tell him what it looked like. 

He wondered if K would be there, secretly hoping he wouldn't be. He had met K the night before and had asked why he thought of guns when he saw him. K had replied with a maniacal laugh before the nurse asked him to leave for disturbing the patients. 

The car stopped a short while later and Shuichi practically leaped over him and out the door. Hiro blinked, shaking his head with a small smile as he got out to follow the hyperactive boy. Walking through the door he stopped to look around. 

"Hi~ro~!" called Shuichi. "Hurry u~p!" he called impatiently. 

"Hai!" he called back with a laugh. Shuichi led him through a series of confusing hallways and finally to a door to what looked like a recording room. "Shuichi... are you sure this is where my guitar is?" 

"Hai! Positive!" the pink haired boy replied. He turned to look up at Hiro with a grin before pushing the door open. "Kon~ni~chiwa~!" he called. He stopped with a sweat-drop as a gun appeared in front of his head. "Eheh, guess I'm late?" 

"BINGO," replied K in heavily accented English. His blue eyes moved to glance behind Shuichi as he put his gun away. "Ah, Hiroshi, welcome back!" 

"Thanks..." he replied, stepping in behind his friend, eyeing K warily as if he expected to have a gun drawn on him too. 

"Ready to practise?" 

"Actually, we just came to pick up Hiro's guitar before I took him home." 

"OH I see..." 

Shuichi gave a nervous laugh. "Is that okay?" 

K shrugged, holding his hands out to his side. "OF COURSE." He looked up at Hiro. "Do you think you can manage to practise for a while the day after tomorrow?" 

Hiro nodded. "Sure, I'll be here." 

"Well, then it's settled!" cried Shuichi, running over and picking up a guitar case. He stopped and looked around. "Ne, where's Fujisaki?" 

"He left just before you got here." 

"Ah. Ok, Hiro, let's go get your medicine and the ice-cream I promised, ne?!" 

"Hai, hai," he replied, letting himself be dragged out. He sighed somewhat disappointedly as Shuichi gave his guitar to Sakano, telling him to drop it off at Hiro's place, before turning off and heading down the street to a near-by café which happened to be next to a drugstore. 

After getting the prescription filled, they headed to the café and ordered their ice-cream, settling into a booth in the corner. Hiro glanced out the window, surprised to see how late it was. He glanced at his watch and realised he had only been out of the hospital for a little over an hour and a half. He must have taken longer getting out of there than he thought. 

"Ne, Hiro, you okay?" asked Shuichi, pausing with his spoon halfway to his mouth. 

Hiro glanced back at him and gave a small smile. "Just tired... Guess the doctor wasn't kidding when she said to make sure and rest," he laughed. 

Shuichi's eyes got big. "Gomen!" he cried. "I should have waited before dragging you all over the place!" 

"Maa, maa, Shuichi, I'm fine!" he replied, patting the air in front of him. Shuichi looked doubtful but went back to his ice-cream. "So, when am I going to get to meet this Yuki of yours?" he asked a few minutes later. He raised an eyebrow when the pink haired boy blushed. 

Shuichi looked up with a grin. "How about..." He paused and shrugged. "Well, I don't think it'd be a good idea if you came over..." 

Hiro blinked at him, both his eyebrows going up. "Why not?" 

The smaller boy sweat-dropped. "I dunno... he's not really a people person?" 

"Yet you still live with him." It wasn't a question. 

"Yeah..." Shuichi started poking at the rest of his dessert. "It's like... I'm a moth being drawn to a flame... The only difference is, the flame gives life instead of takes it, you know what I mean...?" He blushed and gave a laugh. "I suck at poetry, just forget I said that, ne?" He started polishing off the rest of his ice-cream. Hiro gave a small smile before finishing his own. 

They stood to leave and headed towards Hiro's apartment. 

"You should make that into a song," Hiro said as they walked down the street. Shuichi blinked and looked at him in confusion, obviously already have taken his own advice. Hiro smirked. "About the moth and flame." 

Shuichi tilted his head before looking back to watch where he was going. "You think so?" he asked thoughtfully. 

"Aa," he replied. 

A lazy silence fell between them and lasted until they approached the door to Hiro's apartment. 

"Ja, I'll stop by tomorrow, ok?" asked Shuichi once Hiro had found his key and opened the door. 

Hiro gave a wave and stepped through, turning and watching until the smaller boy disappeared from his sight. With a quiet sigh he shut and locked the door before kicking off his shoes and flipping on the lights. The sun was already beginning its descent towards the western horizon so the room was growing dim. He glanced over at his phone, the blinking red light catching his attention. 

He pulled over a chair to sit down before hitting the play button. 

_You have two new messages_ the recording pronounced. 

He blinked, somewhat surprised. Only two? He figured it was because everyone had found out shortly after about his accident, so of course no one would be calling to see where he was. He shook his head and rested his chin on his palm when it beeped and began playing the first message. 

"Nakano-san!" came a young woman's voice. "I heard what happened, I'm sorry that I couldn't come and visit you! I hope you get to listen to this soon and that you're well. Please call when you get the chance." 

The recording beeped, ending the message. He figured it was Ayaka-chan, what other girls would be calling him? He pressed a button to play the next message. 

"Hi, it's me again," came her voice again, accompanied by a small laugh. "I guess our date for Friday is cancelled. Anyway, call me! I'll call again on Saturday to see what's going on. Baibai!" 

Hiro sighed quietly and shut the machine off as he got up. He decided to wait till she called back the next day, since he didn't have her number and was too tired to look for it. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water before taking one of the mild painkillers the doctor had prescribed for his shoulder. 

He peeled off his shirt and tossed it over a chair before climbing into bed, quickly falling fast asleep. 

  
  


He was awakened by the shrill ringing of the telephone. He cracked an eye open as he sat up, glancing out the window to see it was midmorning. He rubbed at his eyes as he half stumbled, half walked over to pick up the telephone. 

"Moshi moshi," he said sleepily, stifling a yawn. 

"Nakano-san!" 

He blinked, recognising the voice as Ayaka's. "Hai." 

"I'm so glad you're okay! When did you get back?" 

"Last night... Sorry for not calling you, I went straight to bed. I got your messages though..." he said, sitting down and feeling a little awkward. 

"That's okay. How are you feeling? What happened?" 

Like I should be able to carry on a decent conversation with you for one, he thought. "I was in an accident with my motorcycle..." 

"But you're okay now?" She sounded worried. 

"I... They say I have amnesia..." he replied quietly. 

"Oh..." There was a short silence. "So... you don't remember me?" 

"No... I don't even remember Bad Luck going big... I'm sorry, Ayaka-chan..." He didn't know why he called her that, it just seemed natural. 

"That's okay, you can't help it after all," she replied with a small laugh. It sounded strained to his ears. 

"How about we meet sometime?" he asked. He felt bad, this _was_ his supposed girlfriend after all. 

"Sure, but I won't be able to visit for a while. We're leaving to visit some relatives the day after tomorrow." 

"I see... Well, call when you get back, okay?" 

"Hai, I will. Ja, I'll talk to you later." 

"Yeah..." he replied quietly, hanging up the phone when he heard the line close. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he went to take a shower. When he came back out, he found his guitar case propped against the wall where he had missed it the night before. 

He gave a small grin and went over to open it, eyes widening slightly at the sleek black and dark red guitar he found lying inside. Bad Luck must have made it _big_ for him to have been able to afford it. He pulled it out, noticing a piece of paper lying in the bottom. He picked it up as well before sitting down on his bed and throwing the strap around his shoulders. 

Unfolding the paper he found a rough sketch of the beginning of a song. Feeling excited he quickly tuned his guitar and started playing, finding himself remembering the next notes before he even looked at them. _This_ was his element and he felt himself fully relaxing. 

He reached the end of the composition and frowned slightly, not able find a note that sounded right after the last one. He sighed and decided to spend the day playing through it until he came up with something. 


	6. Part Five Park and Guitar

**AN**: I'm not dead! ^-^; *sighs* ....ok I so don't like this chapter, especially the ending, but oh well. I might re do it later, tell me what you think! *pocky to all reviewers*   
And yeah Sparda, FR forever! (Forgot to say it last chap XD)   
**Translations**: Ja ne - See you later   
** Posted: May 4, 2003 **

* * *

** Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Five **

He struck a wrong chord again and sighed in frustration. He didn't think he was ever going to be able to finish the song. He didn't know what it was, but even after working on it for the rest of the morning he still couldn't find a right note. With another sigh he set aside his guitar, carefully placing it back in its case. He was about to go fix a sandwich when there was a knock on his door. 

He went over to open it, about to tell whatever businessman was trying to sell him something to go away, when he was greeted with the sight of reddish-brown eyes and dark green hair. He blinked, recognising the boy as the one he was told played the synthesiser. What was his name again...? Ah yes, Suguru. 

"Fujisaki-san?" he asked, somewhat surprised to see him. He stepped away from the door and motioned the boy in when he nodded. "What brings you here?" 

"The doctor said it might help you remember if you spent time around the people you'd forgotten," he replied. He didn't look that happy about being there, though from what Shuichi had told him, he always looked like that. 

"I see... Well," he said, closing the door. "I was just about to make some lunch. Would you like something?" 

Suguru shook his head. "No thank you." 

Hiro gave an embarrassed smile and rubbed the back of his head, somewhat at a loss on what to do. "Well, how about we go do something?" 

"Aren't you going to eat?" the boy asked, shifting his weight to his other foot. 

No, Hiro decided, he _definitely_ did not look like he wanted to be there. He shrugged. "I can pick something up from a vendor," he replied. 

Suguru shrugged and nodded. "Where do you want to go?" 

Hiro glanced to his guitar and tried to think of someplace he could work on the song. "How about the park?" The boy tilted his head slightly before shrugging and heading to the door. He sighed mentally; it was going to be a long day. He grabbed his guitar case and followed after, grabbing his keys off the counter as he passed and locking the door behind him. 

"Why'd you want to go to the park?" Suguru asked when he caught up. 

Hiro blinked before he shrugged with an embarrassed laugh. "You asked where I wanted to go and the first place I thought about where I could play my guitar was the park. We can always go somewhere else if you don't want to go there..." 

Suguru shook his head. "The park is fine. It's usually quiet." 

Hiro glanced at him from the corner of his eye; he had a feeling there was a deeper meaning behind that statement, but he didn't ask, instead he looked back to watch where he was going. 

They made their way to the park in silence. Hiro clenched and unclenched his fist on his guitar case; it wasn't exactly an uncomfortable silence, but it made him feel... awkward, almost like Suguru was unconsciously analysing him. If there was one thing Hiro hated, it was being judged. He wasn't about to be a hypocrite though, so he mentally ran the song through his head until they arrived at the park. 

He glanced at Suguru as he headed to a stall selling hotdogs. "You want something?" he asked. The younger boy shook his head. "Not even a coke?" he asked, ordering a hotdog and water. Suguru glanced up from where he had been scanning the park, raising an eyebrow in what Hiro interpreted to be a slightly annoyed expression. 

"I'll take water, I guess," he replied, reaching into his pocket. 

Hiro waved a hand at him as he ordered another water. "It's the least I can do for you trying to help," he replied, handing the beverage over before picking up his own and moving into the park. Suguru took it and followed, a slight frown marring his features; he wasn't used to being treated like that. 

They found a shaded spot that wasn't too crowded and took a seat, another silence falling between them. 

"Ne, Fujisaki-san?" Hiro asked a few moments later, crumbling the hotdog container into a ball and setting it beside him. He looked up when Suguru glanced at him briefly before going back to surveying the park. "Did someone besides the doctor ask you to come?" 

"Why do you ask?" 

He shrugged. "You don't seem like the type who would go out of his way without a push." Suguru looked back at him, eyes narrowed slightly, though whether in contemplation, annoyance, or budding anger, Hiro couldn't tell. "I didn't mean it like that!" he quickly added, waving his hands with a sweat-drop. "I was just... making an observation..." 

Suguru frowned slightly and took a drink of his water. "Actually, Mr. K suggested I come..." he said after a moment. 

"Ah. You don't have to you know," he replied, taking out his guitar. 

The other boy shrugged, taking another drink of water before leaning against the tree he was sitting near. He glanced over out of the corner of his eye when Hiro started playing, tilting his head slightly; he hadn't heard that song before. 

It was an upbeat song, but there was an underlying tension to it. It made him think of how Hiro must feel, not being able to remember anything, but he doubted the guitarist could have written an entire song in one night. So what had he been thinking about when he had written it? he wondered. 

He glanced over when the older boy apparently hit a wrong note and stopped playing. "Something wrong, Nakano-san?" 

Hiro sighed. "I can't get this song to work. I've been working on it since this morning," he replied, playing a few random notes. 

"When'd you start it?" 

He shrugged. "Not sure. I found it in the bottom of my guitar case," he replied, unconsciously changing the melody he was playing. 

Suguru gave a small smile as he recognised it as Hiro's solo in _Rage Beat_. "It seems your subconscious still remembers some things even if you don't." 

Hiro cast him a questioning glance. "What do you mean by that?" 

"That's one of our latest songs that you're playing." 

He stopped his fingers, a curious expression appearing on his face. "What's it called?" he asked, unconsciously picking up the song again. 

"_Rage Beat_." 

"Aa..." A silence fell between them again, not exactly a comfortable one, but it wasn't really uncomfortable either; it just sort of existed. Hiro glanced down and concentrated on the song, listening to it as his fingers seemed to play it of their own accord. 

Suguru leaned his head against the tree and closed his eyes, letting the music seep into him. He loved the sound of guitar; he would even buy heavy metal to listen to just for the guitar solos. On some level, he could relate to the usually angry sounding music, but most of the time he tuned everything out but the guitar; like now. He relaxed into the music and without meaning to fell asleep. 

Hiro played through the entire song, pausing only briefly before he started playing another just as unknown yet familiar one. Even though he didn't have a clue as to what the words were, he knew he was playing the song correctly by the way it sounded. And he could tell it was his song by the way he felt while he played it, a sense of peace falling over him. 

He didn't know how long he played, but when his arm finally protested and he looked up, he saw it was about mid-afternoon. He sweat-dropped slightly, turning to Suguru with a sheepish grin. He blinked when he found the smaller boy asleep against a tree, tilting his head slightly as he watched him for a few moments. Even in his sleep Hiro thought he looked... lost, for lack of a better word. 

Sighing, he put away his guitar before he leaned over to gently shake the boy awake. "Fujisaki-san..." 

Suguru stirred, moaning quietly as he opened his eyes, glancing around in momentary confusion. He blinked, rubbing his eyes as he realised where he was before glancing up with an apologetic smile. "Gomen, I didn't mean to fall asleep." 

Hiro shrugged nonchalantly. "You must have been tired," he replied with a small smile. "Are you ready to go, Fujisaki-san?" 

Suguru nodded and stood, brushing his pants off as Hiro picked up his guitar case and stood as well. 

"Are you hungry?" the taller boy asked, tossing his bottle and hotdog wrapper into a trashcan on their way out of the park. 

"No," he replied, feeling somewhat awkward. He glanced at his watch. "Actually, Nakano-san, I should get going. Do you want me to accompany you home?" 

Hiro shook his head. "I'm sure I can find my own way home. See you tomorrow at practise?" 

The younger boy nodded. "Ja, matta," he called, heading down the street in the opposite direction of Hiro. 

The red haired boy turned and headed back to his apartment, absently rubbing his shoulder off and on until he arrived. He pulled out his keys with a quiet sigh, unlocking the door and pushing it in to set his case down inside. He kicked off his shoes and tossed his keys on the counter, the bottle of painkillers catching his eye when they landed next to it. 

He was sorely tempted to take one at that moment, but he wasn't about to get addicted to the things. He knew how dangerous they could be, so he resolved to take them only if the pain got bad enough he couldn't see straight. Picking up the bottle, he opened the cabinet and set them inside before he pulled out a small pot to make some ramen. 

When the water began boiling, he dumped in the package of instant noodles, poking at them in mild boredom as he waited for them to cook. He started in surprise when the phone rang, setting down the fork and going over to answer it. "Moshi moshi." 

"HI~RO~!" came Shuichi's voice, sounding infinitely relieved. 

"Hey Shuichi, what's up?" 

"_Why_ haven't you been answering your phones?! I must have called you at least 182 times!" the boy cried. 

Hiro sweat-dropped. "Ah, gomen Shuichi, I went out. I guess I forgot to grab my cell," he replied with a nervous laugh. 

"You... went out? Are you sure that was a good idea? Where'd you go?" 

Hiro was tempted to roll his eyes, but he resisted, going over to make sure his ramen didn't overcook instead. "I went to the park with Fujisaki-san," he replied. 

"Fujisaki? Hum, that's weird..." 

"Why?" 

"Well for one he usually keeps to himself." 

"He said K-san suggested he come." 

"Aa..." The singer fell silent for a few moments. "Well anyway, since I know you're _alive_ now, are you feeling okay?" 

"Hai, hai, Shuichi. I'm fine, just a little tired," he replied, dumping the noodles into a bowl. 

"You think you'll be able to stand practising tomorrow?" 

Hiro could almost picture the small frown his friend was sure to be wearing. "If I get tired tomorrow, I'll ask to leave, ne?" 

"Sure you will." 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" 

Shuichi laughed. "Come on Hiro, you _know_ you'll just grit your teeth." 

"Why would I do that?" 

"Because you're afraid of K," he replied matter-of-factly. 

"Anyone would be," Hiro muttered, causing Shuichi to laugh again. 

"Ja, I'll pick you up for practise tomorrow, ne?" 

Hiro sighed, knowing that saying he could make it on his own wouldn't change the boy's mind. "Hai, see you tomorrow then." 

"Ja ne!" 

"Ja." He hung the phone up and dumped the seasoning on the ramen. He ate quickly, setting the dishes in the sink and lying down on his bed when he realised just how tired he really was. He was asleep by the time his head hit his pillow. 


	7. Part Six Yuki and Trouble?

**AN**: Ack, short chappie! A~nd, it's **NC-17** for lime ^-^ Nooo idea where this one came from... Anyway, enjoy! *gives pocky to reviewers* Love ya tons!!   
And Wai I titled all the chappies! Which they suck so don't flame ^-^ And there's a tornado heading straight towards me so that kinda sucks... -_-;   
**Posted: May 09, 2003 **

* * *

**Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Six **

Yuki sighed, sitting back in his chair for a moment before getting up to go in search of his pink haired lover. The boy had been quiet for a while, which wasn't always a good thing. He made his way to the living room and glanced in, finding the boy in a - to him - painful-looking position. He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms, watching the singer in mild curiosity. 

Shuichi sighed quietly as he hung upside down on the couch, head and arms in the floor and legs thrown over the back, watching the bottom portion of the TV from under the table. It was nearing ten o'clock, but he was still owl-wide awake. Yuki was working, as usual - so he thought, and he didn't want to bug him. 

He drummed his fingers on the floor, idly humming to himself quietly. He grinned suddenly as he got an idea. Placing his palms firmly on the floor, he pushed off the couch with one leg, keeping his other bent until he found his balance. He laughed as he stuck both feet in the air, managing to stay upright. 

Yuki raised an eyebrow at the boy's antics as he watched him for a few moments. "How much blood do you think your little brain needs?" he finally asked. 

Shuichi started in surprise, losing his balance and crashing against the table with a yelp. He moaned pitifully, clutching at his side as he curled into a ball. Yuki frowned slightly and stalked over. "Just kidding!" cried Shuichi, jumping up and launching himself at the taller man with a cackle. 

Yuki gave a soft grunt as the singer's full weight crashed into him and they landed on the couch. He glanced up with a slightly annoyed expression and found violet eyes grinning down at him. He stared at the boy for a moment before raising a hand and brushing his fingertips over the side of his face. 

Shuichi leaned into the light touch, eyes darkening as they closed halfway. He leaned forward suddenly, capturing the author's lips in a deep kiss as his hands roamed over his chest. 

Yuki was slightly surprised by Shuichi's forwardness, but he recovered quickly. He wrapped his arms around the teen's waist, holding him close as he returned the passionate kiss tenfold. He slid his tongue past parted lips, running it across the roof of Shuichi's mouth. His hands moved under his shirt to caress his slim sides, fingers skimming lightly over bare flesh. The smaller boy moaned quietly under the onslaught, hands clutching at the man's shoulders. Yuki pulled back after a few moments, hands moving to pull the tank top over the panting boy's head as his lips left light kisses on his neck. 

"Yuki," he breathed, hands working to unbutton the author's shirt. They were stopped in their tracks as his lips were claimed again in a heated kiss that was hot and urgent and desperate and slow and agonizingly sweet all at the same time. He whimpered quietly as he leaned into it, pressing his body against the one under him as he tried to get as close as he could. 

His hands finally began to work again, and he put them to quick use as he slid his tongue against Yuki's, feeling a slight tremor move through the body beneath him. Finishing with the buttons, he slipped the shirt partly off the taller man's shoulders before trailing his hands over his chest, lingering in some places more than others. He glanced up with a small pout when he was pushed away, but the hungry look in Yuki's darkened eyes silenced his protests. 

Yuki stood swiftly and gracefully before pulling Shuichi up after him, hands tangled in the pink locks as he kissed him fiercely, both of them stumbling down the hall. When they finally reached the bed, he pushed the smaller boy down and pinned the slim form beneath his own, his touches and kisses becoming more forceful. 

Shuichi arched up against Yuki, not surprised, or complaining, at the sudden change in tempo. He moaned, gladly surrendering to the almost-frantic caresses. 

Afterwards, when they both lay sated and tangled with each other and with the sheets, Yuki glanced down at his quietly dozing lover as he trailed a hand over the boy's back. The singer shivered slightly and he sighed with a brief smile before drifting into dreamland himself. 

He was awoken sometime later by the telephone. He blinked his eyes open and untangled himself from the near-death like grip that Shuichi had on him. He easily made his way to the ringing appliance through the darkness, which was a semi-grey from the rising of the sun, and picked it up. 

"Eiri." He pinched the bridge of his nose with a quiet sigh and a curse. "Eiri, I know you're there, answer me," commanded a woman's strong voice. 

"What do you want?" he snapped, for some reason resisting the urge to hang up. 

"Eiri..." A quiet sigh followed. "Eiri we need to talk." 

"And why is that?" 

"Because I can't stand to see you like this. Meet me at Touma's usual place... Please, Eiri." 

It sounded strange to him to hear her begging. "Fine," he replied curtly, slamming down the phone with a silent curse. He had just condemned himself to hell. 


	8. Part Seven Meetings

**AN**: *sighs* Another short chappie... but I was just wanting to update during the week instead of waiting for the weekend so yeah... and this chapter is a little weird because it has first person point of views... and there are going to be more parts like this coming up ^-^ And this is going to be closer to 20 than 10... so enjoy! And please R&R!!   
** Posted: May 13, 2003 **

* * *

** Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Seven **

Walking into the restaurant, I find Mika and Touma already waiting for me. The place is deserted, it being this early in the morning, but I have a feeling I'm going to be here for a while. With a quiet sigh I head over to where they are now standing. "What do you want?" I ask, putting just enough frost in my voice to let them know I am _not_ happy to be here. 

Touma just smiles at me; that damn smile he uses on everyone else; the one where you can't see his eyes. I hate that smile; it means he's either angry or lying. It's nothing but a manipulative mask and I want nothing more than to reach over and smack him, but I resist and glance at my sister instead. She stares back at me, not in the least affected by my glare. 

"You know what we want, Eiri," she replies quietly, before they both sit down. Reluctantly I take my seat as well; if I'm going to be miserable, I might as well be somewhat comfortable while I'm at it. 

A server comes over and I order a coke, even though I know I'm going to need a scotch by the time I'm done here. I sit back, glaring at both of them as I wait for them to start talking. 

  
  


He looks worse than he did when I last saw him. Not to mention he looks angry on top of that. He has a habit of clenching his fist and staring coldly when he's mad. I silently curse Shuichi for doing this to the person I love the most. I swear he'll be the death of Eiri-san one of these days. I cannot allow that. I have to get them away from each other as soon as I possibly can. I will _not_ see Eiri-san hurt again, especially when I can help it. 

Then again, I suppose I should just let Eiri-san live his own life; he's not the kid that he used to be, after all... But that would mean giving up and admitting defeat. And if there's one thing Seguchi Touma never does, it's admitting defeat. Especially when I know my way is for the best. 

  
  


They're staring at each other. I can sense the tension between them and it's never been this bad before. I sigh quietly and glance at my brother, looking in his eyes, and I'm surprised to find a glimmer of life within them. I bite the inside of my cheek thoughtfully as I study him. There are a few other subtle changes as well. His frown isn't quite as harsh as it used to be, as if he's learned to smile again, and he looks healthier. His eyes though, stand out like a spotlight, and my own keep being drawn back to them. 

When he got back from New York, his eyes were dull and cold, dead even, and seemed to promise death to anyone who got too close; even to me, his sister. I think that's when I realised he wasn't as little as he had been. He had been forced to grow up under extreme and dark circumstances. And his pride wouldn't let him accept help, so he chose to push everyone away instead of letting someone get close to him... 

His eyes were like those of a wounded animal, hurt too much to be able to trust even those of his own kind... Then he decided to go away to Tokyo, to get away and start his own life. And I had to let him go, even though I knew it couldn't possibly be for the best. I wasn't his mother, though after she died, I became a kind of figure-head to him and Tatsuha. It was hard, having both of them looking up to me. 

I believed I had failed to protect Eiri when he told me he was leaving, but I made no move to stop him, knowing it was his choice, and that he wouldn't listen to me anyway, what with what was going on between him and father. So he left, and I had to keep an eye on him from a distance. He didn't appreciate that, and his eyes kept getting colder and harder the more I pushed him. 

I was almost giving up hope on ever seeing him even smirk again, but now I realise that someone else has been able to reach the true Eiri, and has been able to begin drawing him out. I feel a pang of jealousy at the fact that it wasn't me, but if being around Shuichi can do that to him in such a short time, I'm more than willing to keep them together for eternity. Touma won't be happy, but it doesn't matter. I love my husband dearly, but Eiri is my flesh and blood, and he more than deserves this chance at happiness. 

  
  


"How have you been, Eiri?" asked Mika, breaking the silence between them. 

"Cut with the small talk and get on with your lectures so I can leave," Yuki replied coldly, taking the coke that the waiter brought back. He caught the slight flash of hurt that appeared in her eyes, but he ignored it. 

"Eiri-san," said Touma in an almost scolding tone. Whatever he was going to say was cut off when Mika kicked him lightly under the table. He briefly glanced at her in curiosity, but her attention was on Yuki. 

"Eiri, you know I only want what's best for you," she said quietly. 

"All I know is you're obsessing over my life." 

"Eiri!" 

He glared at her, daring her to contradict him. When neither of them said anything, he snickered and looked away. He took a drink and stood to leave. "Well then, I'll be getting back to _my_ life," he said, turning and heading for the door. 

"Uesugi Eiri, don't you _dare_ walk away!" cried Mika, slamming her hands on the table as she stood. She straightened, eyes widening slightly in surprise at her outburst and glanced away when he turned to glance at her. "Gomen..." she said quietly. 

Yuki looked at her, eyes narrowed in curiosity. He glanced at Touma and found he looked almost amused by her exclamation and for some reason that made him angry. With a quiet sigh he retook his seat, listening with half an ear as they started advising him on how to live his life. 


	9. Part Eight Practise and Revelations

**AN**: Wow, I've finally updated... heh gomen it took so long! -_-; I was going to put it up yesterday after my history teacher stood my class up, but I had other things I had to take care of, so I'm updating now! And hopefully there won't be any more delays as long as this one ^-^   
**Translations**: Sou dayo! - Of course!   
Ohayo - Good morning   
Yosh' - Great, Alright   
**Posted: June 05, 2003 **

* * *

**Lost Memories - Hidden Emotions   
Part Seven **

Shuichi awoke feeling strangely excited and jumped out of bed with a grin, heading to take a shower before grabbing a quick breakfast. He hummed to himself as he went to check in on Yuki, tilting his head in curiosity as he found the study empty. A quick search of the rest of the apartment found the author nowhere to be found. With a small frown, he picked up his bag and headed to pick up Hiro. It wasn't unlike Yuki to disappear early in the morning; sometimes he had to meet with his publisher or something else to do with his work, so Shuichi shrugged it off. 

He sang loudly as he hurried down the street, mindless of the people who stared at him as he passed. The weather was relatively nice, it being February, but there was a slight chill in the air that said it might snow soon. He grinned to himself; he loved snow, so he was hoping his instincts were right. 

When he got to his destination, he knocked on the door loudly. "HI~RO~!" he called when the door wasn't opened immediately. After a few more moments of waiting impatiently, he began tapping on it incessantly, creating his own beat as he hummed along. He jumped in surprise when the door was jerked open and he came face to face with an exasperated and sleepy looking Hiro. 

"Na Hiro, you don't look too well..." 

"I know for a fact you don't look any better when you wake up," was the mumbled reply, as the redhead stepped out of the way and motioned him in with a yawn. 

Shuichi stuck out his tongue in reply as he entered and glanced at the clock. "It's already ten, what are you doing still in bed?" He grinned mischievously a moment later. 

"I was tired," the red head said, cutting the boy off with a roll of his eyes since he knew perfectly well what Shuichi was planning on saying. He would rather _not_ have to deal with suggestions about his sex life at the moment. He gave a small shrug when the smaller boy frowned slightly in concern. "The doctor said it would be expected for about a week. I'll go get dressed and then we can leave, ne?" 

"Ha~i!" Shuichi called after his friend's retreating form. He flopped down on the bed, a huge grin forming on his face as he remembered the night before. 

Hiro smirked when he came back in to find his friend daydreaming. "You look happy." 

Shuichi sat up and grinned at him. "Sou dayo! Today's going to be good, I can feel it!" 

The red haired boy shook his head with a smile as he turned to grab a breakfast bar and his guitar case. "Ready?" he asked. 

"Always!" 

He raised an eyebrow with a quiet snicker at that statement. Shuichi stopped and looked up at him curiously, before he blushed bright red and hurried out the door. Hiro laughed and grabbed his keys as he followed. 

"So, have you heard from Ayaka-chan?" questioned Shuichi once they were on their way. 

"Aa... she called the other morning..." 

"...You remember her?" 

He sighed. "No... But we're going to meet when she gets back from visiting a relative." 

Shuichi grinned. "Well, that's good!" 

"Aa." 

He gave a sly grin and elbowed the taller boy. "Ne~, Hiro, have anything special planned out?" 

"No, I don't." was the reply, as Hiro swapped his arm away with a mild glare that was ruined by the light blush on his face. Shuichi laughed lightly and put his hands behind his head. Hiro shook his head and pulled out his bar to eat, drifting into silence for the rest of the walk. 

They arrived at the studio and Shuichi led the way to the same practise room he had taken Hiro to the last time. Since it was Sunday, the place seemed to be almost deserted. "Ohayo!" called the pink haired boy as he opened the door, sighing quietly in relief and walking in when no gun presented itself in greeting. He glanced around the room and found Suguru was already there, playing bits and pieces of a song on his synthesiser. "Ne, Fujisaki, where is everyone?" he asked, setting his bag down. 

Suguru glanced up and gave a brief nod of greeting. "Nakano-san went to get a drink, and I haven't seen Mr. K." 

"Ah." Shuichi stretched and ran over to grab the mic. "Ne, ne, let's do _Predilection_!" he cried. 

"Shuichi, that's a Nittle Grasper song..." said Hiro. 

"So?" 

"I thought we were supposed to be playing _our_ songs?" 

"But since you have amnesia, I thought we could practise songs you knew!" 

"We can practise _Rage Beat_," interjected Suguru. 

"Eh?" 

"When we went to the park, I subconsciously started playing it," answered Hiro with a shrug. 

Shuichi blinked at him before he grinned. "So you _do_ remember things! Even if you don't remember that you do!" 

Hiro paused, trying to make sense of his friend's words. He nodded slowly. "Sure," he finally said, shaking his head slightly with a small grin as he set his case down and took out his guitar. He sat in a chair, quickly tightening the strings into tune with practised ease before glancing up. "All set." 

Suguru nodded, hitting a few buttons on his keyboard to change the settings before playing the opening to _Rage Beat_. 

Hiro closed his eyes and concentrated on the music, waiting for his cue. Even though he wasn't sure what it was, he was confident he would know when he heard it. Sure enough, a few moments later his fingers started moving as if by their own accord, joining in perfectly with the synthesiser. He faintly heard Shuichi join in with the vocals and listened with half an ear to the somewhat familiar words. 

He became so absorbed in the music he didn't even notice when the door opened and two figures stepped in quietly. He let the rhythm pull him deeper into the music, letting it absorb and control him instead of the other way around. He loved the feeling of losing himself in the melody of a song, being able to forget about everything except the composition and underlying feelings of it. 

All too soon the music ended and he was forced back into the real world; only to open his eyes and find the eye of a gun staring him in the face. He started and leaned back in his chair to look up at K. "Umm, something wrong?" he asked with a sweat-drop. 

K gave a laugh before he pulled the gun back and put it in its holster. "Not at all! Good to see you haven't lost your touch for the guitar." 

"It's good to have you back, Nakano-kun!" cried Sakano, somehow managing to wring his hands together and not spill his drink. 

Hiro nodded at him in acknowledgment. "It's good to be back," he replied. 

"It's also good that you have such a talent for guitar and are able to pick up on the songs so quickly," said K, crossing his arms with a somewhat smug look on his face. 

"Eh, why is that?" questioned Shuichi. He knew that face; it usually meant something very good or very, very bad. 

"Bad Luck has a concert coming up," was the simple reply. 

"Hontou? When?" he asked, getting excited. 

"Saturday." 

"Saturday?!" cried Sakano. "But-but that means we've got less than a week!" 

"Not this Saturday, next week, which gives you about a week and a half to get Hiro up to date on the songs," corrected K. The producer gave an audible sigh of relief and sank to the floor with a quiet thud. K ignored him and glanced over to Hiro. "Think you can handle that?" 

"Do I have a choice?" 

"Not really." 

Hiro shrugged, wincing slightly when his shoulder protested the move. "Then I guess I can." 

"Good answer!" replied K, glancing at his watch. "See if you can remember _Blind Game Again_." 

"Hai!" cried Shuichi, spinning around the mic like it was a pole. "Come on, let's sing!" 

"Hai, hai," replied Suguru, changing his settings again with an almost-smile on his face. He glanced over to Hiro. "Since we start at almost the same time, I'll play the opening in a loop until you join in," he said. When Hiro nodded he turned back to the keys and began playing, going through the intro twice before he heard the guitar join in. He went through it again before moving onto the main part of the song, relieved when Hiro seemed to be picking it up, or at least able to improvise the few times he missed a note. 

Hiro relaxed into the music and gave a slight smile when the solo came up, it being his favorite part of any song since it was the one part that was fully his - and Suguru's, as the case may be. He felt like he was improvising most of the song though, especially the solo, but when it ended K had a satisfied look on his face. 

"Good job, good job! Go through it a few more times and then you all can leave." 

"Ha~i!" called Shuichi. He was almost dancing in place and had a huge grin on his face, happy that Hiro was remembering so much, even if it was just subconsciously. 

Suguru pointed out the parts that Hiro had missed the first time through and showed him the right notes to play. The next time through went almost perfectly, Hiro only stumbling in a couple of places. By the time they were done Hiro was sure he would be playing it in his sleep. He sat back in the chair with a sigh, rubbing lightly at his shoulder before putting away his guitar. 

"See you tomorrow," called Suguru over his shoulder as he headed out the door. 

"Bye, Fujisaki!" Shuichi replied, waving at the boy's retreating form before bouncing over to Hiro with a grin. 

"What?" questioned Hiro when Shuichi didn't say anything. 

The pink haired boy continued to grin at him before he shrugged. "I'm glad that you remembered that's all." 

"It's only subconsciously," he replied, standing up and heading for the door with the shorter boy behind him. 

"Yeah, but that's still a good sign, right? Ne, are you hungry?" he asked. 

"Aren't you eager to get home to Yuki-san?" 

"Yeah, but I doubt he's back yet. He was gone when I woke up this morning..." 

Hiro glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you worried?" 

"No... I just wish he'd tell me things..." 

"Maybe he's scared to," he replied, leading the way to a small outdoor sushi place since the weather was warm enough. 

"Eh?" 

He shrugged in response to that eloquent question. "You said he wasn't a very social person. Maybe there's a reason for it." 

The shorter boy bit his lip lightly as they continued on their way. There _was_ a reason he could think of, but surely Yuki knew he wasn't even close to being like the real Yuki Eiri; he would never take advantage of Yuki like that sick monster had. All he wanted was for Yuki to be able to open up to him more. Maybe he was being selfish, but he couldn't help it; and if he had already made as much progress as he had, surely he was close to his goal. 

Shuichi clenched his fist. "Yosh'!" _All I have to do is keep doing what I have been!_ he thought. 

Hiro raised an eyebrow in amusement as he sat down and ordered. "What are you mumbling about?" 

Shuichi laughed and ordered as well, sitting next to him. "Just making a decision," he replied. 

"I see." 

Their food came and they drifted into silence to eat. 

"Ne, Hiro..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you think... you have to know everything about a person before you can truly love them?" Shuichi asked quietly, poking at the remainder of his food with a somewhat distant look in his eyes. 

Hiro briefly glanced at the shorter boy. "Not necessarily..." he answered slowly. "I think that if you're in love with someone, you try to find out all about them _because_ you love them... Just because you don't know everything about someone doesn't mean you don't truly know their heart..." 

"Yeah, but..." 

He reached over to rest a hand on his friend's pink head. "Shu-i-chi. If you're worried about your relationship, just look at how long you've been together. From what I know of Yuki-san, he doesn't seem like the type to stay around someone he doesn't like..." 

"H-hai... But sometimes... I feel like he truly hates me..." replied Shuichi, laying his head on his crossed arms. 

"Maybe he was just annoyed at you for pushing too hard..." 

"Maybe..." He sighed quietly and went silent for a few moments. "He's too complicated..." 

Hiro smirked. "If that were true you wouldn't have stayed with him for so long." 

Shuichi laughed sheepishly. "I guess that's true." 

"I know it's true." 

Shuichi smiled and stood up to stretch. "Thanks," he said, pulling out his wallet to set down money for his share. "I'll pick you up tomorrow for practise, ne?" he asked, waving as he walked backwards down the street. 

"Hai, see you tomorrow then," Hiro called, waving back. 

Shuichi turned around and headed towards the apartment at a leisurely walk, his hands behind his head and his bag thrown over a shoulder as he hummed quietly to himself. He passed a store with a birthday display in the window, complete with a few wrapped boxes, a cake, and balloons. He paused and tilted his head slightly and grinned; he knew Yuki's birthday was coming up soon and now he had an idea of what to do for him. 

He headed into the store for a look around, emerging half an hour later with a sack full of cake ingredients, a couple of tubes of coloured icing, and some streamers. Even though he most likely couldn't cook to save his life, he wasn't half-bad at making sweets. 

When he finally made it to the apartment, the sky was already getting dark with the approaching evening. He opened the door and kicked off his shoes, setting his bag down before quietly making his way to the kitchen to hide the sack of supplies in an empty drawer. Having accomplished that, he made a quick search around the place and found that Yuki wasn't back yet. With a quiet sigh he went to change, grabbing a blanket and a notebook on his way to curl up on the couch. He flipped on the TV, tossing the book on the table in case he got lyric ideas, and settled in to watch some movies. It wasn't long before he was asleep. 

  
  


I lean against the back of the elevator and close my eyes with a sigh. For some reason, spending time with Touma and Mika always leaves me feeling drained... I should know by now that they can only cause me headaches; which is why I went to the park to calm down for a while. If I had been smart, I would have refused, but after last night, I wasn't exactly thinking when Mika called me this morning. That little idiot is talented at doing that to me... 

Even so, I can't rightly blame him that I was stuck with _them_ for most of the day, trying to convince me I "wasn't living a healthy life." Screw them. I don't understand why they can't just accept that I'm happy. 

I pause. _Am_ I happy? Looking back, I would have to say I'm happi_er_, anyway... I think I've finally gotten over the past... or I'm at least in the process of moving on... and it's all thanks to that pink haired brat. 

The doors open and I step out of the elevator, walking down the short hallway as I pull out my key. The first thing I notice when I open the door is a strange glow from the living room. I frown slightly as I glance at my watch. It's well past one in the morning. Walking into the living room, I can't help but snicker quietly even as a smile briefly crosses my lips. Shuichi's curled up on the couch with a blanket around him and the lights off. Apparently he fell asleep while watching TV. 

I turn off the television before kneeling down in front of the sleeping baka. Reaching out, I rest my hand on the side of his head and he sighs quietly, leaning into the touch. I resist the urge to pull away and instead move my thumb to brush his bangs back, marveling at his captivating, almost childlike features. He really is still a child in heart, and sometimes in his mind as well. I snicker at that thought, but I know I wouldn't give him up for the world. 

He murmurs my name, his voice heavy with sleep, and I feel a tug on my heart. "What have you done to me?" I ask quietly, half hoping for an answer; I really wish I knew. I'm not naïve or dumb enough to believe he truly loves me; love is something only found in books and dreams. A part of me wants to believe in that dream though, but I know as soon as I let myself, he'll disappear, one way or another... But whatever this is, it's something I could get used to. 

I feel like I'm drowning, or that my heart is about to shatter, but the feeling is addictive. Even though I try to push him away, I know he'll always return... and I'm more than happy to welcome him back. It's confusing... _He's_ confusing, and he causes more than a few headaches... but I don't think I want to go back to how it was before, when I was just existing; I actually feel alive now... I wish I could thank him, but I can barely admit it all to myself. Three words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can't get them past my throat, so I settle for a gentle kiss instead. 

His eyes blink open as he murmurs my name again, and something else that sounds an awful lot like "I love you." 

"Baka," I mutter, glancing away. I see him give a small smile out of the corner of my eye before closing his eyes again. With a quiet sigh I turn back and pick him up to carry him into my room, gently laying him down on the bed. He wraps himself around me, like he always does, when I lie down next to him, and I can't help but smile a little at the sigh of contentment that comes from him. 

Leaning down, I brush my lips over his in a feather light kiss. No matter how many times I push him away, I'll always keep drawing him back. "I love you, too, Shuichi," I murmur quietly, and I swear a smile touches his lips. Letting myself actually admit it, it seems right... No matter how hard I push, I know I'll always keep coming back, too. 

Just like a moth to a flame. 


End file.
